Confessions from a Verbally Frustrated Thinker

So I’m more and more convinced that when it comes to verbally formulating my thoughts, I fail miserably. I’m not shy, and I don’t mind speaking out in public, but I’m much more engaged with thoughts in my head because as soon as I try to formulate them into words I a.) go on a rant b.) go in circles and then get to my point c.) don’t get to my point because I can’t find the right words or c.) I say something in Spanish, and I catch people off guard. If you’ve ever interacted with me you can attest to this statement, and if you haven’t, it’ll be one of the first things you notice about me.

It’s a frustrating feeling to have a mind that is constantly being stimulated and thinking, but can’t always verbally express itself the right way even though it’s willing to do so. I’m a thinker, I’ve always have been. In turn, I’ve become a very visual and creative person, and I seeked  for other means of self-expression that compensate for all the thoughts in my head. Part of this self-expression is of course through my style, my “art”, and this blog, which I’m very passionate about but this year I started doing something I’ve always else:

I began writing my thoughts down onto a journal at the end of the day exactly in the way that my minds thinks of them. Honestly, the idea first appeared childish to me but after realizing I was losing crucial sleeping hours/homework hours/shopping hours/life hours trying to find someone else’s words correlating to my thoughts on quote websites or Pinterest, I lost it and had to try it.

Now it’s become almost a habit because my mind is finally at ease at my own pace. I purely write down my thoughts and ideas as they come into my head, avoiding the restrictions that come with verbally speaking or publishing words. Aside from removing my verbal frustrations onto fresh pieces of paper, I’ve found that I start remembering specific thoughts and details that happened throughout the day, and I’m much more aware of myself, of others and of my surroundings. It’s a different type of insight into our everyday routines, and an insight we should all explore.

So if you haven’t done it or thought about doing it, I invite you to do it at least once in the next couple of days. No worries one will know unless you write a blog about it..

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